Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. The Answer: No more years! Price starting at $87.97 for basic 5,000 sq. No more years! A: Fort Knox. Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. The character was introduced in 1964. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? The Answer: They found no brain activity. A: E.S.T., P.M. and B.M. Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and Q: What price will gas be if it's under a dollar? Q: What did Yul Givens give after eating a prune tree? , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. , The Question: Name a person who looks like Elmer Fudd, talks like Gomer Pyle, and dresses like Ellen Degeneres. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? A: Eight is enough. , Ed: I hold in my and the last envelop. Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! Gotta be The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. Murine? I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. Zippo? 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. . Q: Name three movements. A: "Hi diddly dee." Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora . Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. Q. A: Shake and bake. Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. A: Kaiser wrap. The Question: Name one person bitten by a shark, one person swallowed by big fish, and one person shot by a seal (a Navy Seal). ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. Carson 500's, The 1985. (Crowd cheers) #10. resuscitation with a sick lizard. , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? After Carnac said an answer, McMahon would frequently repeat it in a booming voice ostensibly as a help to the audience setting up a sneer, putdown, or some other comic reaction from Carson. QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire grenade? Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. "carnac the magnificent" Memes & GIFs. "Knickerbocker"Q. A: Blazing Saddles. A: General Curtis LeMay, the Red Baron and Carnac. A: Gatorade. , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? . The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat Q: Where should you address all your mail? A: Touch and Go. Here's how it played out on air. A: "The Dumplings." Q: What do you use to fry a peter? A: Tail of Two Cities. While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. A: 60 Minutes. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. A: Double trouble. A: Madame Kitty. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). . The Question: Name three things in New York that may run forever. A: A thousand clowns. A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461. Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". Carson . The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? tissue. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. A: Sex. "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. The Answer: Confused, weak, feeble, and uncertain. A: "Gung Ho!" The Answer: The Pinocchio Treatment and Recovery Center. Story. The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? A: Pot luck. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. shorts. Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. In article <12@gitpyr.UUCP> gra@gitpyr.UUCP (Mark W Fouraker) writes: Paddy Chayevsky's "The Tenth Man" contains several curses on daughters-in-law. Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a , The Question: Name a person who only says Jesus when he stumps his toe in the dark. Share. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. dickory? A: Green thumb. Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? The Answer: Become a professional politician. Oh, I forgot! The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC A: Unleash. Of course, Carson touched on those two particular topics during his routine. The Answer: A condor, a bald eagle and a snail darter. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? A: Pipe dream. A: You asked for it. A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. the memoirs of Richard Nixon. A: 2001. A: Crabgrass. Carnac the Magnificent. One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. CRITIC "When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder" ARTIST "How I do it?" CRITIC "No; why you do it." You can always tell the English, You can always tell the Dutch, You can always . Hoffa. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? hair". I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. work? A: "Rose Bowl." A: Short eyes. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? A: Zippo Marx. Kitchy-Kitchy? A: Lady-in-waiting. Q: What's in Jimmy Dean's sausages? Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest No one knows the contents of Adam and Eve had more problems than that forbidden apple. Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. Paul? A: Over 15 billion served. The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. The character was introduced in 1964. (Dr. Wuhan) , The Question: What is Kamala Harris approval rating? The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! , The Question: Whats the only way to get your spouse to listen to you? . They've been kept in Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. A: Cyclone. The "Carnac the Magnificent" segments were always good for laughs, from the moment "Carnac" entered the studio and walked off in the wrong direction, then corrected himself only to trip on the step at the edge of the set at the beginning of every segment. The segment included several running gags. This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. Or are you just happy to see me? Clarnac: (Glares at Ed) Clarnac is supposed to be the funny guy. , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. (the curse). Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? . , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. parents. Im Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carsons desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. us? Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. A: Groundhog. May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. "You Light Up My Life.". Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. Images tagged "johnny carson". Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. (Wait for it! As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. 200 views, 3 upvotes. , The Question: Who is the biggest conservative in the Republican Party? Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune Q: Name a Fudd, a Mudd and a dud. During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. A: Quarter Pounder. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter Q: Which floor wax was used by the Three Mile Island on a country? Previous. Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. A: The Loch Ness Monster. CARNAC: May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your ANSWER: Gatorade. It is original material for the most part. The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. , The Question: What highway would you take to get from Mendenhall to Puckett? A: The ZIP Code. Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? promises. Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. A: De-frost. . The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. A: David Frost. A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. A: Rosy red cheeks. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. . Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? Q: Who ruined that darn rug? Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? , The Question: What is the name the new Disney fat stripper movie. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. . A: Plumber's helper. May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? Q: What instrument does a doctor use to examine your A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign Similar Items. 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. He dubbed it the "Carnac Saver" and said in a 2009 interview, "I'll go to my grave having to apologize for having invented the Carnac Saver. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide?